So as today is the last day of the month it has been on my mind heavily that I need to change my mindset. I noticed that after graduation that if something wasn't going my way I would have a mood change and not understand why. I literally quit my job and started a new one in a new city with people that I don't know. It was for the best, I guess. Honestly, if you follow me on twitter I say it was the worst decision ever because I felt like it happened so soon that I wasn't mentally prepared for this new life. I tend to find myself always running away from this new place instead of trying to figure it out and be like okay so I can do xyz while I am here and make a living. So starting tonight, I am changing how I was in the last two months. I will make this new place and environment that I am in something that I love to be in. I will also take these last three months of 2019 and find myself. Since I am in a new environment that means it's time for change and with change means that I have to be ready fro the different outcomes and experiences that comes along. For example, making new friends, or learning a new route to get home, or even being able to know what I like and dislike again.
While at work this morning, I started writing down a list of things that I wanted to start doing to shift my energy back into place. I ended up with a schedule for the morning and night. Honestly, if I stick to it I feel as if I will be able to keep myself out of this depressive episode and I wouldn't feel completely alone in this new city. So, what I am going to do is instead of waking up at 6:30-7 every morning, I am going to wake up at 5:45a during that time I will pray, meditate, and stretch, for an hour. Then from 6:45a to 7:30a I will workout, eat breakfast, and head to work. After work I will give myself an hour after work before I start to wine down. Which will consist of stretching and cooking at 6:30p. Then reading a book from 7:30-8:45p then after that I will meditate for 15 mins and then go to sleep. With this schedule I am hoping to see a change in my life because I already started removing the negativity and toxic things out of my life. I am trying to be okay with being alone and not always wanting to feel as if I need people around me because I am scared of being by myself. I am also just trying to find a new way to approach my depressive episodes without being on medication and having to understand the fact that it's okay not to be okay and it's okay to express myself and if people cannot handle that, then I will know that I cannot talk to them about whatever I am going through.
So I plan to keep a log of how things work out for this next month and I will blog about it and be sure to make sure that I keep you all updated and such.
